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April 21, 2012

day 6 2012

began my day by humming Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me". The lyric goes something like this: You were my strength when I was weak/You were my voice when I couldn't speak/You were my eyes when I couldn't see/You saw the best there was in me/Lifted me up when I couldn't reach/You gave me faith 'cause you believed/I'm everything I am/Because you loved me...

Suddenly, out of the blue, a reminiscence of my late dad came across my mind. I remember there was a time in my school day when I was embarassed of him being around just because he seemed old enough to be my grandpa (he had me when he's already aged). There was also time when I debated him for being overprotective during my teenhood. We both used high pitches; him in his old age & me in my most rebellious stage. However, he was always there & took good care of me through my roughest days. Whenever I had a bad score at school, my mom would immediately snap on me, but dad always said, "It's alright. Next time will be better. Just don't give up trying..."


He spent his last days in the hospital. I was the last person who helped him spoon his last meal. It's rather amusing, 'cause he seemed to have lost appetite in anything since a couple of days before. No one could encourage him to eat. That's why I found it surprisingly delightful that he accepted my offer to assist him eating. Apparently, it's a sign. It was in fact his very last lunch. 

When he passed away, it seemed like a dream. It wasn't shocking, because he has been ill and went in-out of the hospital. In the first few weeks of his passing away, I swear I could still see him sitting on his favorite spot of the living room couch. But, there are times when memories of him seem to pop up without any notice. One of those times is now. 

Wherever you are now, I hope that you're always be happy & content.
I miss you & I will always love you, Pa...

You gave me wings and made me fly/You touched my hand, I could touch the sky/I lost my faith, you gave it back to me/You said no star was out of reach/You stood by me and I stood tall/I had your love, I had it all/I'm grateful for each day you gave me/Maybe I don't know that much/But I know this much is true/I was blessed because/I was loved by you...

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