day 30 2012

This morning, I read a friend's status on facebook: "Whenever I eat es campur, I'm always reminded of my Dad..."

It struck me that almost about everything around us are associated with a particular feeling or thought. For example: the smell of fart. We won't label it icky if none of us associates it with the fact it's an odor that comes preliminary to the release of feces.

Certain smells, sounds, views, taste, or sensation of touch can evoke memories (may it be good or bad). 

For me, the smell of freshly brewed coffee gives a tingling warm feeling inside. It reminds me of the old times when my family gathers around the dining table, sharing stories and laughters. 

On the other hand, hearing loud unharmonious sound of guitar or piano can trigger the fear in me. Back in my childhood, my ex-druggie brother used to play the guitar or piano in the oddest tunes each time he feels upset. Next, he would yell at anyone near him. My folks, the helper, me. 

It wasn't a happy story to remember. However, he's sober now; a totally different person. Only that sometimes past memories makes occasional visits. It's part of my life that I'll need to make peace with. 

Surely everyone has their own emotional baggage, and it can't be erased over a couple sessions of therapy or whatsoever. But I believe that time heals. And through the roughest moments one can learn to forgive and be open-hearted. 

It might take years to put down the walls, but it's gonna be worth it. What better gift to have than a peaceful mind and forgiving heart? ♥